Giving Up On Love

I have been single now for nearly a week. But before that, I was not single for nearly a month. A whole month. I was fairly unhappy the entire time. What is wrong with me? I have mentioned before that I am afraid of committment. But lately, I dont really think thats the problem. I am just entirely too picky. Its not enough for a guy to be intelligent and sweet. Most every guy I have dated in the past was very different than me. I like that, but I realize its necessary to have things in common. I have decided there are a few vital qualities I will need in my next boyfriend: intelligence, a love for the outdoors, good sense of humor, good taste in music, honesty, and trust (I dont do jealousy, I have way too many guy friends). Oh, and he has to be an amazing kisser. It would be nice if they appreciated math/science because its super important to me, but not integral (hehe).

So why have I dated anyone? For several reasons, none of them being a need for a boyfriend. I have always thought: this guy is really nice, would never hurt my feelings, dating is fun, and perhaps my feelings for him will grow. I also have dated someone because I thought it would help me get over my feelings for someone else. How logical. I have, surprisingly, found someone that is as close to perfect for me as I have found so far in my life. But of course, nothing will come of it. And so, I vow to continue being single until I find someone who is nothing less than an excellant match for me.

Also, the Ataris "Giving up on love" is an awesome song to listen to when you realize you will be single for a long time.

I Swear I Read Books

I often joke about not going to libraries. Its not a joke. This year was the first time I have ever entered a library (Arts Library was first). Do you know they have scary bars you have to walk through? I have yet to visit the Engineering Library where many of my classmates spend a good portion of their UCLA lives. And, yesterday was my first time in Powell. So, the only reason I broke my anti-library streak is because of theater classes. The first time I went in search of a play, we were sent between four libraries, and only found it in the English reading room, where you cant even check out books, or talk. Libraries are way too quiet.

Yesterday, I went to the Arts Library and smugly used the computer to look up a title. It said it was located in the 'College Library'. I thought, weird, I have never heard of that one.

"Wheres the College Library?"
"Powell."

When I get to Powell, I see a sign on the door that says "College Library Hours". Right. Smartly, I have written the call number of the book on my wrist. I see a sign that says "P-Z Level G". sweet. The security guard notices I look confused, and asks, "Do you need help finding something?"

"Wheres the elevator?"
"What floor do you need?"
"Level G."
"Thats the ground floor...youre on it."

His assumption that UCLA is an excellent school was verified at this time. Anyhow, I searched through endless shelves, and of course, they didnt even have the book I needed. All the time I have spent in libraries has been fruitless and embarrassing.

Death of the Desperado

This weekend the Desperado will meet its end. The Desperado is my 1990 Nissan Sentra. It has served me well, and will be missed...well, kind of. Many of you who have had the joy of riding in my car, will miss jumping through the window, guessing how much fuel is left, and bouncing with the natural hydrolics in second gear. I dont know what I will do without the excitement of wondering when my car will break down and in what strange city it will occur. Sadly, the Desperado never had a chance to reach the goal of being on Pimp My Ride. It would have been a nice consolation after recieving dirty looks every time I hand the keys over to a valet, or get a car wash on Sepulveda. It is the end of an era.
Under protest, my mother has purchased a Mercedes. We convinced her she should not have too many employees with nicer cars than her. And so, her PT Cruiser will attempt to replace the loved Desperado. That is, until I get my masters and a sweet job. Lets have a moment of silence.

V-Day (like D-Day?)

I love holidays. I become very enthusiastic around even smaller holidays. If I had to pick a least favorite holiday, it would be Colombus Day (he killed my people), and then Flag Day (boring), and then Valentines Day. Valentines Day is usually hated by singles, however, I never feel like a bitter single on that day. Perhaps thats because I am a committment phobe, and a feminist. Thats right, a feminist. I do not think such phrases as 'Be Mine' encourage individuality in a relationship. The gifts given on this day are also ridiculous. How is eternal love represented by flowers that will die in a few days? This is the only day of the year where it is acceptable to give adults teddy bears. So weird.
I usually take this day to aknowledge my friends. Its a great excuse to give cards and bake cookies; my favorite holiday activities. I have only been in a relationship once on V-day, and I gave him a glass chess set (very sexy). As for this year, I have warned I dont want flowers, and plan on a low-key dinner, devoid of mush. I wish you all the Valentines Day you crave.

I Love Beer

Day 21
It has been an awesome three weeks of drinking. I have spoken to many people about love and relationships latley. I can only hope someday I will find someone that I love more than beer (I would settle for as much). I have scheduled a detox period from Monday until Friday (my wine tasting). I am not looking forward to it. I have had many different reactions from people about my drinking escapade, they range from:
"What if you cant stop?" (very silly), to, "Wow, thats burly." (from a guy!)
As expected, I was successful. I would like to thank the good people at Corona and lime trees, that made this mission fairly easy to accomplish. I would also like to aknowledge my understanding family. I am totally stoked about the Superbowl tomorrow, and spending time with my crazy fun family and family friends. Go Eagles! (gotta root for the underdog)

Quotes:

"You're not an alcoholic until you graduate." -Eden (originally?)
"At least you dont have to worry about drunk drivers, your grandma is staying here." - Aunt Carol