Rebuttal and Updates

to the anonymous poster: wow, you totally misunderstood me. Also, you made a lot of assumptions and didnt even have the courage to sign your post. I was not writing about sleeping with random people. You are right, that would be easy, and if I wanted that I wouldn't be complaining. Random hook-ups are completely unsatisfying and often lead to regrets. However, I believe that there is a compromise between random hook-ups and serious dating. Casual dating does not equal casual sex (although my mother thinks it does). It is possible for two people to enjoy spending time with each and have 'chemistry', without being serious. The timing for a relationship is very important. One of the people involved in the situation may need to focus on something else in their life, and not be able to dedicate themselves to the great time and emotional commitment that is involved with a 'serious' relationship. Also, there may be an aspect of a person's personality that would only become an issue in that type of relationship. The cold truth is, that I may not be ready for a serious relationship anytime in the near future. This is in part because I am extremely critical of people I date, and I have a difficult time becoming emotionally intimate with people. Honestly, the only people I have been able to completely trust is my family. So, would it really be better for me to completely isolate myself from others?

Anyhow, things have been super crazy lately. I have been spending about 10-12 hours a day on campus. I am only at home to sleep and havent even have time to go grocery shopping or do my laundry for two weeks. The other night I ate whole wheat pasta and canned tuna, because it was literally the only food I had in the house. Today I took a horrible midterm in flight mechanics. I usually finish tests early, but this one I didnt even finish. Nobody else finished early, so I hope they found it difficult as well. My numerical methods class is torture, and the hw nearly impossible for me, since I dont remember how to program. Last night I talked to Ro for about 20 minutes, and realized it was the most interaction with a non-engineer I could remember. I am getting a lot done though, and hope it all pays off in the end.

Cool new word from Grandpa L:

Broner: syn: 'mancrush'. def: boner for a bro. ex: Alan has a broner for George Clooney.

Passion and Football

Last Saturday was the most kick-ass football game I can remember. We played Cal and were behind most of the game, and came back with a movie-worthy win. I wont go into the details, but it was amazing. I love football. Also, the Bruins have been nothing but dissapointing for the last 4 years I have been here. I hate losing; but you already know that.

In other news, I am never getting internet. Also, I am re-evaluating my grad school options. I am thinking far away from LA. I am thinking texas or NY. We will see, but I need to start deciding soon.

But my main thought lately has been, where has all the passion gone? I heard my roomate orgasming this morning, and I cant even remember the last time I had morning sex. I am afraid that maybe I am getting old, or have ceased to have chemistry with anyone. I dont need drama-filled relationships or love heading to the altar. I just want some hot chemistry (out of the lab). Is 22 too old to have make-out sessions? I mean, its been about 1.5 years since my last truely passionate encounter. It's sort of sad. But I guess there are more important things in life.

Internet Is Life

I havent had internet for a month. I am going crazy. We are now all moved into our kick-ass apartment. My room is super big and awesome. The only bad thing is that our apt is not cable-ready. So, in order to get cable/internet, they have to drill into the two units below us. This requires that someone is home in the two apts, at the same time we are, and at a time we can get an apointment. This has yet to happen. Anyhow, I am at my parents house for the weekend.

My stepdad just bought a 'dark-sucker' (aka a flashlight). I have never seen a grown man so excited about a toy. Its a giant flashlight. seriously. He and my little brothers are now going to test it at the park because there are too many streetlights outside the house. wow. Luckily, my mom doesnt get it either, so I know I am not crazy. I guess males never grow up. My greatest fear has just been realized.

Anyhow, more soon; its saturday, its football season, and thats important.