How Can I Help You?

I am not the type of person who should work with the public. Why I have been working in food service for the past 5 years is a total mystery to me. People are dumb and annoying. I dont deal with them very well. Currently, I work at a cafe, and every day I am there I am annoyed by customers. I dont do a very good job of hiding it either. I mean, people are condesending to me, and I think, "I am so much smarter than you". Its maddening.

For instance, at least twice a night someone asks me if the bathroom is upstairs. Why on Earth would you assume the bathroom is upstairs?! Our upstairs is like 1/4 of the size of the downstairs section.

Another good one is; what size is your 16 ounce drink? How can you have no idea how much an ounce is? How do you survive daily activities? Also, our sizes are clearly labeled next to the cups on the wall. So you would have to be blind and stupid to not understand the sizes. And yet, every night I have to deal with this ridiculousness.

People often ask me for my opinion on food choices. Its a lose-lose situation for me. If I dont make a reccomendation here is what happens:

customer: "which quesadilla would you reccomend?"
me: "well, it really depends on what you like."
customer: "oh, so youre going to be like that."

if I do make a suggestion this is what happens:

customer: "how is the veggie stew?"
me: "it's not that good, the other soups are better."
customer: "hmmm, yeah, I'll get a bowl of the veggie stew."

I really need to perfect the verbal skills of coworkers, who confuse customers without them realizing they are being mocked:

customer: "can I come in this way?"
my manager: "yeah, you can go out that way too."

customer: "wow, this place was hard to find, you guys are really tucked away here."
coworker: "yeah, tucked away on wilshire blvd, the largest street in LA."

I'm so much better than this...