Motivations

Even though I sometimes struggle with academic problems, at least there is a solution to them. I wish social situations and emotions followed logic. I get totally overwhelmed when i am faced with situations or people I dont understand. This is why I am bad with relationships. There are too many reasons possible for a single action, and sometimes there is no reason at all. Here are some reasons I've dated (using the term casually) guys:

1. I was bored
2. He was interested and eventually grew on me
3. He was good on paper (safe)
4. I was attempting to get over my feelings for someone else (doesn't work!)
5. I actually liked him

okay, so, number 5 is the most logical, but has only happened once. It seems so obvious to me that you shouldnt date someone for any other reason. I had this dream recently that I started dating this guy again (who I dated for reason number 4) and totally hurt him again. I mean, I dont set out to hurt anyone's feelings or anything... but it is difficult for me to pinpoint motivations when I am actually in the situation. Hindsight is 20/20. All the same, I think I am at a point where I am more self-aware and will avoid reasons 1-4 entirely. That's the goal at least...

In other news: I am finishing midterms and interviewing for jobs. I am totally stoked about winter break... only about 5 weeks of class left...