Monday, October 09, 2006

Changing Priorites

Lately, I have been kind of amazed by how much things can change. For instance, I never thought I could be so over my ex. I thought I would always harbor dull remnants of the feelings I once had. Currently, I don't even like him as a friend. It's not really dislike though, just a state of indifference. I don't care what he thinks of me or what he does in his life. He is kind of an asshole and the only reason I want to be friends is because we have mutual friends/weekly poker. I need my poker.

Also, I used to be a very angry Alanis/Avril-like young woman. I used to be very anti-relationship and could not understand why someone would seek out a boyfriend/girlfriend. I kind of get it now. Being in love is a really awesome thing. I miss having someone who I don't have to make conversation with, but have the option to say anything. It's really great to spend time with someone who understands you and finds your quirks amusing/cute. Wanting to date is also weird because I am sort of a loner. I don't need anyone else. I could go whole days without talking to anyone. I don't mind doing laundry on a saturday night (there are always open machines). I don't really like meeting new people; it makes me anxious, and I overcompensate my loner-ness by becoming super outgoing. I dont make good first impressions. People usually think I am a bitch or crazy. I do much better one-on-one or with really old friends. I feel like I should attempt to be social, so I make efforts to go out and such.

This morning my professor (who was confused last week as to why he had previously said 'shit') said, "that's pretty damn obvious" about something he wrote on the board... he's funny.

The new Beck album is awesome driving music.

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